Daniel Craig was a good actor before he got turned into a bad-tempered robot for the Bond films. A great film he starred in, before the Bond franchise gobbled him up, was Layer Cake. It’s one of those clever-witty-vicious crime films that the English are quite good at. Daniel Craig plays a hip, likeable London-based cocaine dealer who does “one last job” before retiring. This is a tried and tested formula in film – the hero does one last job before dropping out of his life of crime – but, as you can imagine, there’s no way that the scriptwriters are going to let our hero retire quietly into wealthy obscurity.
I’m thinking about this plot because it’s a good way to explain why I moved to Bosnia Herzegovina. Although there are some big differences between me and Daniel Craig’s character – I’m not a bigshot coke dealer and not about to retire – there is a similarity which is that I’m trying to finish doing what I would call my “normal” work in consultancy, PR and publishing projects. In short, I’m doing one last job before getting into a life of independent travel, volunteering and writing books.
The job? Raising money to publish a book that contains a unique collection of posters that were made during the Bosnian war. There are a few Croatian and Serb posters but most of them are by Bosnian artists, graphic designers and various organisations that wanted to protest about their nation being ripped apart by the neighbours – as Poland was in 1939 as a result of the Nazi – Soviet pact. The author — Daoud Sarhandi — has assembled the war posters into chronological order and written long captions that tell the story of each one. The effect is a graphic history of the war and it’s relevant to young Bosnians as they don’t get taught about the Bosnian war in their schools — the issue is to recent, too close to the bone, too divisive — and all the young people I’ve met in Bosnia Herzegovina seem really keen to get the book, get an objective/graphic view of the war and learn from their parents’ mistakes. I interviewed over 30 young people in Sarajevo, Mostar and Tuzla and found a remarkable lack of hate towards the other ethnic groups in their country. This gives me a lot of hope.
The reason for telling you all this is because, just before leaving the UK, an English friend called Gwen asked me why. In particular, why will I be raising money for a book about posters that were made during the Bosnian War (1992 to 1995)? “If you’re going to raise money,” she said, “it would be good to know the background. Answering the ‘why’ question is a good place to start.” Gwen used to run environmental NGOS so she knows what she’s talking about when it comes to fundraising.
You might be wondering what it is about this Bosnian poster book that made me uproot myself from England, where I had a good life. The simple answer is that when Daoud Sarhandi told me that he’s working on this poster book I wanted to be part of it. My first response to hearing that he was working on a book of Bosnian War Posters I offered to fundraise for it. Illustrated books like this are very expensive to produce and getting some heavy-duty cash behind it is essential.
Having worked on many NGO and consultancy projects over the years I’ve developed a sort of sixth sense in knowing if a project is good or not. It’s a sort of instinct and is rather like that first impression one has upon meeting someone – is this person inspiring, or to be avoided? It’s the sort of instinct I used to ignore, only to later realise that “if only I’d listened to my gut instinct I wouldn’t be in this mess now.” I’ve worked on so many bad projects and it’s essential to avoid getting involved with one that will only bring frustration, as the people in charge are unable to listen to new ideas (this is perhaps the most common problem). Even if you’re getting well paid, you’ll probably lose about two years of your life working on it.
So, when Daoud said he’s re-doing his Bosnian poster book I instinctively took two decisions: to fundraise for it and to move to Bosnia Herzegovina. I knew there was no chance of raising money for this book in UK, where it would be competing with a million other good causes, and the only place I’d stand a chance is Sarajevo where they’d appreciate its relevance. The idea of hawking it round London and the big western capitals was deeply demotivating, and even if I did get a big grant I’d be subsequently beholden to the donor agency and drowned in their bureaucracy (foreign aid and development work, of which grant funds are part, has become depressingly bureaucratic). This book represents a part of Bosnia’s heritage – posters that were produced by over 40 Bosnian artists as a reaction to the war – so it makes sense that Bosnians fund it rather than one of the international grant funds. This book needs to develop its local roots rather than be another bright idea imposed from outside.
Daoud didn’t ask me to fundraise for it (and this, in itself, is a sign of a good project) but I knew the book needed it and assumed there would be nobody else vying for this non-job (i.e. voluntary) position. It was an instant, instinctive decision that became embedded in my plans for the future. It took me over 6 months to disentangle myself from a comfortable life in the UK: I sold my van, got rid of my precious touring bike, gave away my books and all the excess baggage one builds up – and above all made sure I wasn’t leaving any loose ends behind. I came to Bosnia Herzegovina at the end of July 2021 and don’t know how long I’ll stay. When people ask, I say, “for as long as it takes.”
What’s interesting for me in answering the question – why did I come to Bosnia Herzegovina? That instant decision to support the poster book, was buried deep under a whole pile of other stuff, like an important piece of furniture that’s somewhere under a house that had suddenly collapsed. I had to pick through the debris, sift through lots of other, more superficial, reasons for coming here (escaping from Brexit-land), in order to find that kernel of decision making that was at the heart of it. I’d written an earlier draft of this article, then discarded it in frustration as I hadn’t found the real reason. Now I realise that as soon as I took the decision to work on the poster book it immediately became part of my future plan – to move to Bosnia Herzegovina – but the actual decision making process was so quick and instinctive that I really struggled to find it when someone asked me the most simple of questions: why?
Another reason for moving to Bosnia Herzegovina is that I used to live here, just after the war, for two and a half years. It was a tale of riches to rags and back to riches. During the Bosnian War my NGO/charity, Scottish European Aid, grew huge in the Tuzla region, doing water supply infrastructure under the dynamic leadership of my brother Magnus. Although I was in charge of the NGO back in Scotland, we didn’t manage to get out hands on even 1% of the millions that Magnus was raising for his water engineering projects. I was like a waiter in a smart restaurant who handles big payments but gets paid peantus. So I resigned, got the bus to Sarajevo just after the war ended (winter 1995), spent my last pennies on getting a bus to Tuzla, where a friendly soul had offered accommodation. There’s nothing as motivating as being flat broke in a strange foreign city (ask any immigrant) and within a year I was making a fortune by writing, publishing and selling books to the vast American army that had just landed at Tuzla airport.
Making lots of money for me, myself and I doesn’t feel right so I set up a new NGO/charity with my wonderful mother and we distributed English language books to schools and libraries all over the land. For two glorious years we didn’t need to go cap-in-hand to the donor organisations as we were raising all the money we needed by selling my books to the NATO troops. The last project we did was to finance Daoud Sarhandi to drive around the country collecting Bosnian War posters from local artists, designers and printers. He did this with my very-well-organised ex wife, Alina, and a brilliant photographer called Stephen Gordon. I left Bosnia Herzegovina in early 1998 and never returned until now (2021). Coming back has a curious feeling of homecoming; the first week was a confusing rush of disjointed memories and new impressions.
Thinking about the difficulty of finding the real reason for coming here, and exposing my own decision making process, brings me back to that great English film Layer Cake. Criminal organisations have a strict policy of never keeping a record of their decision making process, for the simple reason that it can land them in jail. Everything is done verbally on the basis of trust (“honour among thieves”). One of the best things about being a non-criminal is that I can be open about all aspects of my life without fearing the consequences. I’ve got nothing to hide.
If you’d like to see some samples from our poster book, which we’ll be publishing next year, follow this link: My Publications | Daoud Sarhandi (jimdosite.com)
I took the photo that illustrates this article in Sarajevo in July 2021. Bosnian Kingdom is the name of a shop.
As always, I’d be very grateful for any comments — however negative, long or crazy they may be. The truth is that us wannabe writers couldn’t go on without feedback.
I first published this article in August 2021, but re-posted it in January 2022 with some revisions. It still stands as the most relevant article about why I’m currently based in Bosnia Herzegovina.
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Will it be an e-book or a hard or soft cover conventional book which will impact on costs. Gaining the copyright consents will be a time-consuming job! Hope it all goes well.
Thanks for your comment. It will be a large format softback, and maybe also a film…
You have no idea how hard this hit home: „Even if you’re getting well paid, you’ll probably lose about two years of your life working on it.” — especially when you hear the „life clock” constantly ticking in your skull.
But at the same time just trying to survive capitalism. To put food on the table. To get enough money so you can help human and nonhuman beings. To use your privilege for good.
Not to end on a grim note but it’s check mate from the moment you’re born. So you might as well participate in destroying the chess board.
Thanks for this comment Tudor. It’s taken me over 40 years to work my way out of the capitalist-work-trap. For many years I followed conventional wisdom which is to work hard, earn as much as you can, pay off your debts then retire. But that’s a false economy on two fronts: first of all the more you earn, the more you spend and the more in debt you end up; secondly, by the time you reach your sixties the chances are you’re all burned out and have no energy to do those things you’ve always wanted to do.
I decided to get my debts paid off within 5 year, it took ten but I reached there by my mid fifties. Now I’m free to do my own thing — but only because I’ve radically cut my costs/living expenses. I also went vegan which is not only the best thing you can do for the planet (animal farming is the biggest contributor to greenhouse gases) but it saves a ton of money on food (I’ve also saved hundreds of thousands of pounds/euros/dollars/lei by not consuming alcohol and cigarettes). I always have camping gear with me when I travel and this also saves fortunes. But it all starts in the head, with an intention to break free before it’s too late, and a determination to shed excess possessions and travel light. So I disagree with your final statement about it having to be a nightmarish trap. It’s hard, but there is a way out. You can stop playing the game.
I don’t think capitalism is the problem — I think the way capitalism is applied is the problem. The way our economies are structured is all wrong in that the main interest being protected (by governments) are big business; in particular shareholders and business owners. “If they want to exploit and pollute that’s fine, as long as they keep subsidising our political party”. But this ends up meaning that the biggest businesses are allowed to grow bigger than nations and they can tell even big governments like Britain’s to go jump in a lake when they’re asked to pay tax (and our government, like good little dogs, will meekly oblige).
But capitalism doesn’t have to be like this. If you look at the origins of the conservative movement it was all about supporting small businesses and small village communities, and “conserving” the environment. When did it become this ruthless advocate for big business? I suspect it was under Reagan and Thatcher but don’t know enough about it to know for sure.
Socialism and communism have similar roots in the 1820s, with village-level democracies being the basis for a more just society. That could mean that all units of production, like companies, should be locally managed by those who work in it. But we all know how well that went. I blame Marx who said that whole nations need to be under the “dictatorship of the proletariat” — but if you give unlimited power and a great nation like Russia to a bunch of people, with no option of renewal, what do you think’s going to happen? Even in western nations the more modern form of socialism hasn’t worked very well as they’ve fallen victim to the corruption of big business (e.g. Sweden’s polluting ways despite its soaring green rhetoric) and what I see in my own country (UK) is that the socialist party are unable to compete in a highly competitive arena. Capitalism doesn’t need to be so competitive. They also don’t know how to deal with big business and when the last Labour Government was in, under Blair, they fell in with President Bush and eagerly destroyed another country (Iraq). That decision lost them their Scottish support and the loss of Scotland has kept them out of power ever since.
In my view all these political philosophies, like religions, have some noble roots but have been corrupted. And globalisation makes business so big that they’re untouchable, like criminal organisations, and far too powerful. They need to be broken up. The only solution is that all government must be local — city states or regions — and then you could have all the political parties battling it out locally but it would be on a scale that local people would feel motivated to get involved as they’d know their actions could really make a difference. Each city/regional government could send the same message to the multinationals: “you’re welcome to set up shop here but you either pay a big import tax or set up a local version of your corporation that is fully owned here and pays all its taxes here.” This would mean that it would suddenly be possible to produce stuff like coca cola locally — and be cheaper.
If I was in charge of one of these city states I’d tell everyone that from now on everything we do has to be good for nature (rather than the shareholder) and you’ve all got to work out ways of production/consumption that helps the environment. So every business/school/home must recycle/reuse its water, waste and emissions. This could result in one overarching question over every business/government decision/law (as well as every activity, like travel): “Is it good for the environment? If not, you can’t do it.”
That’s the kind of society I’d like to live in.
Loved reading your response and I looooooooooove you finally went cruelty free. It’s not just for the animals or the environment, it’s solidarity towards slaughterhouse workers, farm workers — all suffer immensely because of the selfish cruel diet.
Capitalism is part of the problem, but the bigger problem (or the enabler) is patriarchy. Fragile masculinity that drives people to spend hundreds of millions of dollars to go to space while others have to pee in a bottle working for them. Yes, I’m talking about Bezos. But there are *many* like him.
Capitalism is sexist, is racist, is ableist, is destroying the planet. It’s unsustainable. It’s dehumanizing. It has no place on this planet. Unless we want to destroy it.
We have everything we need to build sustainable communities, we have everything we need to build permacultures and eat good food and lead amazing, fulfilling lives without stepping on eachother in order to make money. We need to have time to pursue our ideas, our desires, our love (not at the expense of others of course). We need to be allowed to rest, to do nothing of value, to dream or just stare at the stars. We need silence and pause as much as we need anything else. We need to not worry about food or shelter.
I do believe we can do this. We’re much more numerous than them.
But I’d love to take you out to some vegan food whenever you come back to Romania. And I’ll either tone down the marxism or tune it up, however you want it hahaha
Thanks for this eloquent denunciation of capitalism Tudor. Hard to argue with any of your points, but I would refer you back to my point which is that it’s the type of capitalism we use is all wrong — not capitalism itself. If we were to go back to original communist ideas in the 1820s it was all about local government, i.e. let people run themselves in small communities. I love that idea but I also think the only way that kind of community can work if capitalism can work at a very local level, so there would be lots of small, family owned businesses and all the trades and crafts that were needed. Central control of such enterprise would kill it but the small scale of the economy/community would ensure that any corruption would be small and easily contained. The problem with Marxism is that it ended up running whole nations and got corrupted. How can you expect one group of people to seize absolute power and then hand it over?
Bosnia will live as long as there are people like you, those who care for what it represents in today’s world.
Thanks for this really important point Senada. I was thinking about going back into the article and adding something that is very important to me: I believe in Bosna i Hercegovina. Your country has been dealt a terrible hand by the so-called International Community and I’m ashamed that my own country (UK) didn’t lobby against the arms embargo that prevented you from defending yourselves against the invaders; in fact we supported it. We also supported the Dayton Treaty which has left half of Bosnia under the control of a regime that doesn’t want to be part of Bosnia. It’s an insane set-up and the fact that you can make it work, that the country actually functions, that you have freedom of movement and no war, is a testament to the Bosnian peoples’ skill at making peace.
The posters, and the stories behind them, will make a fascinating book.
Glad I had the chance to meet you in Tuzla, Bosnia and Herzegovina. I love the concept that the crowdfunding is intended to be done mainly by B&H citizens. And for your last gig I have a qoute:
“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask.”
Thanks for picking up on that fundraising detail Zlatko. But I should add a proviso: we’ll be aiming the crowdfunding at the Bosnians living abroad, as many will have disposable income and may feel inclined to support a project like this. Hopefully they will order two copies, one for themselves in whatever foreign country they’re located in and one for their family back home.
This sounds an interesting project Rupert and I wish you good luck, plus am certain that you will enjoy your days in Bosnia and will also by being among the people learn a great deal from them not only about the dark war period, but about their traditions and lifestyle also. Will any of the proceeds of the book sales be donated to help war victims as would be beneficial to the many there who are still suffering and getting old now? Very best wishes. Brian..
Thanks for your comment Brian, the project is being organised under the auspices of a small Spanish charity/NGO. Small is the keyword here as it means no salaries and very small overheads will be used. And yes, in answer to your question, we do want to donate any profits but we haven’t yet found the best local option/charity. My aim is to find out how to fund/support young people to develop their artistic talents, to try and make up for some of the damage done by schools in this regard. What I mean by this is that most schools in this region do a great job of beating the creativity out of kids by trying to get them to draw/create/perform to a standard that is too high for them at that early stage — instead of encouraging them to start by doodling and splashing paint about and (God forbid) having fun. I know this happened to me at school in Scotland where my attempts at drama and art were strangled at birth, and I was at what my parents said were “good schools”.
Sounds like you have searched your soul to find your pathway. The book will be incredibly important document and wish you all the very best in getting it published, keeping this history and the impact on human lives in collective consciousness.